Originally posted on March 13, 2006.

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Greetings all!

I live in Wyoming...sure, the city I am in is only 20 miles fom the border with Colorado, but most of the people here are still cowboy enough to know what goes into a hunting trip, even if they've never been hunting...which in Wyoming is probably a rare thing.

Even though I am a rarity myself, even I know enough about hunting to immediately dismiss the hunting accident that Vice President Cheney had last Saturday as exactly that...an accident, one that happens every so often, where the confluence of guns, people, nerves, adrenaline, and whatever animals you are hunting meet.

However, as conservatives, we must not ever under-estimate the ability of our Liberal friends to turn an easily-explained accident into the latest big conspiracy to destroy the country and take away our civil liberties.

And before you think that making this accident into the latest Conspiracy is the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard, I have one that will top it. A caller on December 31, 2005 to Art Bell's prediction show on Coast to Coast AM predicted that in 2006, the aliens would land on Earth, and punish George W. Bush for wrecking the environment.

I'll pause here to let you recover from laughing.

...

The thing is, in LiberalFantasyLand, the very second that "dubya" won the election in 2000, the black hats came out in force. It doesn't help that the Libs think that Bush stole the election with a vote of the US Supreme Court...that was just the first of the Conspiracy Theories that got started once Republicans controlled the White House.

Once the attacks of Sept. 11 happened, and after the immediate aftermath, when the people of this country seemed to come together in a moment of unity, it did not take long for the Liberals to reflexively shy away, like: EWW! I stood next to a CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN!

Over the next five years, we have heard almost every sort of Conspiracy being hatched...all by the Bush administration to enslave first the United States, then the entire human race...if they don't lay waste to the world's environment first...either by destroying the land environment, polluting the air, or melting the planet's ice caps.

And if you're in foreign lands, the events of the last five years should dis-abuse you of any thoughts that you might be spared. Whether it be through our insidious ABC program in Africa to stem the spread of AIDS (ABC stands for Abstinance, Being Faithful, and Condoms), dictating to the Third World through the US domination of the World Bank and IMF, dominating the Middle East directly through the use of our jack-booted thug military who took their training straight from Hitler (He wasn't killed in 1945, Prescott Bush had him frozen so he could indoctrinate future generations of the family), or allowing our thug friends in Israel to dominate the region.

When some admirable soul attempts to stand up to the Imperial Empire of "dubya" (insert the Imperial March, from Star Wars here), they find themselves ridiculed, called "Old Europe", insulted, disregarded, blah blah blah. And HEY, while we're on the subject of Star Wars, the Liberals in LiberalFantasyLand can easily slip our country into the Star Wars cast. (I actually saw a Liberal version of the Attack of the Clones movie poster.)

Of course, let's start with the "good" guys!

MUJAHADEEN WARS: 2006 - ATTACK OF THE JIHADIS

Starring:
Osama bin Laden -- Yoda
Abu Musab al-Zarqawi -- Luke Skywalker
Ayman al-Zawahiri -- Mace Windo
Iraqi Insurgency -- anti-Imperial "freedom fighters"
George W. Bush -- Emperor Palpatine
Richard Cheney -- Darth Vader
Donald Rumsfeld -- General Grievous
US Congress -- The Senate of the Republic
US Armed Forces -- Clone Army

And of course, we have to continue with the on-runing struggle of good vs evil. In this LiberalFantasyLand Production, the valiant forces of good, led by Osama bin-Yoda follow the precepts of Muhammad, who reprises the role of Obi-wan Kenobi. Princess Leia is his concubine, and she is covered from head to foot in heavy clothing. On the Dark Side, we have Christianity, who is represented by Pat Robertson.

Enjoy the movie folks! Barf bags are available at the concession stand.

---
John B.
Blog Guy

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